When I picture myself, I can only see me reacting to you. It’s that dependency that scares me, in addition to my doubts.

God, those doubts! They consume me, eat away at my psyche, torment my heart.

Memories should never be so spectral. A thought should not be able to construct a reality. But when I think of you it is no longer just a thought. It is reliving the past and it literally makes me feel the pain I felt 2 years ago and that makes me want to make you love me all over again.

Frustrated… by my inability to exist without my memories of you and my longing for those memories to take physical form. You by my side.